I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
