Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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