That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
