As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
