I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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