Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
