Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
