Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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