Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
