It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
