so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
