I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
