After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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