its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
