drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
