I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
