i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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