I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize
