That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
