I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
