Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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