Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
