If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
