HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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