don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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