I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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