Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
