WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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