We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Randomize
