I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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