If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize