my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
