why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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