she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
