This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
