i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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