Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Boobs are out for the taking
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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