Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
