Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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