thus making me awesome and them whores
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
