Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
