this boner is exhausting
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I think your dad took our porno
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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