i may or may not be watching the land before time
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
