omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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