My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
