Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Are we still banned from the library?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
he had hair everywhere except his balls
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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