Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
it was like having sex with a tree stump
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
