Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
