Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
