my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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