I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
