i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize