I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize