Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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