is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
