really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
