i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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