All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
