Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
