The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
