He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
