I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
